Singles & Your Spare Bedroom

Looking back I’m not even sure how it came to happen but all I know is that she fit into our family perfectly, she always had really, but now she would actually be living with us.

Kristin had been my college roommate and one of my very Best Friends living in North Carolina, so during a phone call I sensed that she needed some Big Texas Sky therapy… I told her she should just move here. And so she did. At the time we had just Zoe and Jack and they were sharing a room already so we had an extra room that we knew eventually would hold more kiddos but for now had her name written all over it.  So we painted a wall her favorite charcoal color and found some rad curtains and a big K to hang on the wall and welcomed her home a few months after that conversation on the phone.

 

She became a part of our everyday. The good…celebrations, day to day conversations, tv shows, creative collaborating, eating (even the salads and juicing were more fun with her).  The bad…. Intense marital communication, adoption craziness, PMS!!! and The ugly…. holding Jack as he screamed for what seemed like hours in anger, my insecurities as a housewife and mom, her rawness as she processed & healed from past hurts.  She got a front row seat and a backstage pass to it all…. and Ya’ll, it got cray cray up in here.  I can kinda see how the families who have reality tv shows still let it all out after a while because when someone is there often, they become part of the routine, everyday life, and the family. And so she was.

I can’t remember how long she stayed…Kristin, I’m sure you have that written down somewhere…was it a year?  I know she went to Congo with me and after that had another family she stayed with once we brought the babies home and then after our new normal was settling in she moved back in for a few months. She was a HUGE help with the kids, she actually modeled parenting tips she had learned from other families and gleaned from the Word and to this day I’m grateful for that because I now am a better mother because of it, so mom’s don’t think you can’t learn from someone who isn’t an actual parent yet.  She taught me/introduced me to different beers and wines… in fact I’m kinda lost in that arena without her fine tastes to guide me. She made every season more celebratory… she’s just like that. She was someone to talk to everyday in what’s often a very lonely time in motherhood (I actually wish often that we had an extra room to have someone stay in right now for this very reason), She let us go on dates….. she joined us on dates…. we interrogated her after her dates. 😉

 

It was the kind of community that invades every aspect… even to the point of you sometimes wanting out of it but you can’t. Honestly, I’ve found that that’s where true community begins.

I remember when people would find out that she was living with us… with 4 kids… in an apartment, they would ask HOW?? We’d just smile and say… we don’t know how but it works, we just know that God has shown us that this is something that we can do right now and He’s been faithful to bless and pour out His goodness on our whole household during it.

So many spare rooms are used for extra belonging storage or a craft room that rarely gets crafted in… when it could be used to impact someone’s life and change yours!

Singles aren’t the only ones you could invite to live in it… there’s summer orphan hosting, there’s international student hosting, there’s unwed mother’s who get kicked out of their homes and need a safe place to stay while they grow a baby inside of them, there’s your siblings who might could come live with you and get a glimpse of what your life in this chapter really looks like,  There’s ALWAYS Fostering and Adoption! (of course I’ll have more on that in various posts this month.)

So take stock… how often are you using that spare room of yours? Do you have a game room or bonus room that isn’t used near what it could be if someone else lived in it? (I’ve found that having another person in your home often can be more entertaining and beneficial to your kids than a WHOLE room of toys or games!!)

 

I know MANY families who have tons of space in their homes, and actually you don’t have to have a lot of room… a free bedroom and part of a bathroom is really all it takes.  I know many families who financially could totally add one more plate at the table or potato to the soup and it wouldn’t cost near as much as what a grocery bill of someone living on their own would cost.  I know many families who don’t have extended family near by and could benefit from having an extra set of hands or someone at home for certain hours of the day to help with the kids, celebrate holidays with and just to keep you company day by day!

I’m sure that Dan and I aren’t just “special people” who do this type of thing…. I’m more inclined to say that it’s probably more doable for a lot of families than they might think. Yes, it’s unusual and unconventional but don’t miss out on a blessing in your home because you have a hard time wrapping your head around sharing life with someone whose single and/or not related to you.

Be open to the idea… See what God may put in your path… and you might be surprised how easy this communal living can be and how much it blesses YOUR family. Because I know it sure as heck  has blessed ours!

We miss you Kristin!

 {{ This is Day 3 of my  31 Days of Gospel Driven Hospitality. Go HERE to check out the rest of the series. }}

{{ If you’re a single person (or really anyone) who wants to be more hospitable check out my friend Lore’s Blog. SO GOOD! }}

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