Things I learned in May

Today I’m linking up with Emily P. Freeman for “What We Learned” – the month of May.

1. I need to be inspired.

It hit me when I was watching The Million Dollar Arm a few weeks ago and was spell bounded by the scenery from India (which my heart lately is longing to go to… we would LOVE to adopt from there but I think we have too many kids for India adoption requirements, but who knows!) Anyway, I found myself feeling so inspired that I just wanted to come home and embrace more fully this life God has given me. Then I started thinking about being inspired and how I think that when I’m not being inspired that it effects my life at home, my walk with God and my relationships. I need to be in awe and wonder! It’s a springboard of a greater Awe and Wonder…the One who truly is the fuel to my fire, He is the fire too.   But as a stay at home mom… being inspired takes effort and requires you knowing what inspires you and taking the time to seek it out.  It’s out there and it’s everywhere… but it’s different for everyone. For me, I have to get out of my house… I have to watch movies about greatness… I want to see the ocean (here in texas that is more difficult I must say)… I need to be in the sunshine… (I think I probably should be a Floridian or Californian eh?)… I enjoy creative conversations… I have to take photos.   What inspires you to live out the life you feel called to live?

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2. My desire for order sometimes causes me to live in chaos.

I have this crazy thing about me in that if I know that just cleaning a room won’t help the fact that it desperately needs to be organized so because of that it will get messed up quickly even though I do clean it… I will put it off and live in a messy room. When really just picking it up would probably make organizing it a lot easier. It’s strange. I also have to organize every closest, cabinet, space whenever I go out of town and leave my babies. It’s probably more of a control issue but for some reason it helps me be able to leave knowing that the hidden things are in order.

by artist Peter Crawley

3. You’d think it would be easier to live simply… whereas it’s simply not so.

We are moving. Moving SUCKS but getting rid of stuff and taking stock of what you have and what you really need is GREAT!  Thankfully neither Dan nor I are much of collectors of anything… except kids I guess. 😉 So parting with things that aren’t really necessary to live with isn’t too hard for us. But I think it’s crazy how fast stuff comes into your house even when you’re trying to keep stuff out.  I always say that it’s actually more of a challenge to intentionally live with less things than to live with more. Things just naturally have a way of accumulating. Not sure how really. But gosh, I want to live with less in my home but I find that it’s a lot of work to actually do so.  

4. No matter what changes come in life, I will battle fear.

Even if it’s the best change in the world……ESPECIALLY if it’s the best change in the world, fear will always be there lurking! I have found that while we’ve really been able to pinpoint the things we as a family want and desire for our lives as we grow and cultivate these little lives around us and the world around us, but making those decisions that actually carry those things out can be really hard to do. It’s scary to do something different even when you know that’s more what you want for your life.  I keep saying to myself  “Perfect Love casts out Fear” and it’s TRUTH!! I remember fearing adopting Zoe after having just lost a child, I remember agreeing to foster Jack and not knowing what that would even look like long term. I remember fearing signing on to adopt TWO international orphans knowing that it would cost A LOT of money that we didn’t have, I remember having a panic attack in the middle of Walmart and sitting on the floor as I clung to the wheels of my full shopping cart knowing that the next day I would get on a plane to go to a country in civil unrest for 6 weeks leaving my two precious little ones at home. I remember KNOWING beyond a shadow of a doubt that we wanted… we needed a child with Down syndrome in our family but fearing all sorts of things… all the unknowns.  ALL the BEST freaking things in my life have come because we were okay for our lives to change…. in spite of the, at times, crushing fear we were feeling inside!!  You’d think we’d just live and learn and just not fear as we continue to welcome change and embrace what God is doing next in our lives. But, nope… fear is still there. And I think as long as we are breathing… as long as the enemy thinks there is a chance we will stay in our comfort zone… there will be fear.  May we all be people who see it coming… ride the wave of terror… and still embrace the change that is to come!

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5.  This is the last month when people ask me how old my kids are that I’ll ever be able to reply with  “1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.”  I wish I had a camera in my eyeglasses to capture the slowly but quickly changing expression on the faces of those who ask as I start counting and keep on counting.

 

6. Why is Apple Cider Vinegar the cure all?

Why couldn’t it be Tea, or some sort of Juice or the cocoa bean? ACV… it’s so simple of a remedy for almost everything but everything in me wants to do everything I can to avoid having to take it. It’s truly awful!! (but dang it, when I do… it works!)

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