tomorrow… tomorrow…

I love you… tomorrow, you’re only a day away.

Tomorrow around 8:30 am Jack will become a Chappell officially and forever more.

I can’t figure out if tomorrow’s happenings are hard for me to believe because it’s all of the sudden here, or if this calmness and matter of fact attitude is because in my heart I always knew he’d be ours so this is just making it official through the state. Either way, I’m just glad and humbled that God opened doors, guided conversations, arranged meetings with old friends, timed conceptions… moves.. and desires to adopt, prompted hearts to think of us, opened our hearts to a child who wasn’t born yet, gave us provision to care for another, put us in families who also risked hurt to love this child, changed prisoners hearts, granted us favor with social workers, led us to a wise lawyer, and above all gave us the strength and endurance and compassion to love this child who wasn’t ours as our own.

I’m very humbled by all that.

His adoption hearing in court will be similar to his arrival into our life. Very casual and laid back and with a small gathering of family to celebrate.  I’m trying hard not to compare this to other adoptions where the hearing has been planned for months and it’s a really big day of  celebration with friends and family,  But I can hear the cheers worldwide as you all celebrate the goodness of God with us in this much like you were so sweet and encouraging when he first came to us.

I’m very thankful for all that.

Jack has been such a totally different experience than Zoe. I think getting him just months after moving to a new town where we didn’t know that many people, plus the fact that he came to us in a foster situation made it just very different than Zoe’s arrival. He had spent the first 3 weeks of his life in the hospital due to lung issues and so I think he was a little more uptight and nervous than most newborns would be. It took a while for him to learn to relax and trust that his world wasn’t about needles or breathing tubes anymore. We picked him up from his great grandparents at a Dairy Queen half way between them and us. (I have a feeling that DQ will definitely be involved in tomorrow’s happenings!  )  Zoe was great with him from the start and we just hunkered down those first few months and bonded as a family.

Jack wasn’t the healing balm that Zoe had been…. he was different and was bringing something totally new to my life as a mommy. I don’t know if I can put it all into words, but I do often tell people that with Zoe, she was a village baby.. meaning she brought so much joy and healing to SO many people, so many of you who carried our sorrows with us and now were celebrating her with us as well. Jack….. he was just my baby. I say that meaning, that Dan would probably tell you that Jack and I bonded much quicker than he did or anyone else for that matter. And ya’ll, I just can’t describe what some of those night time feedings or afternoon cuddle times or even when we were in big groups and I would be holding him were like. I just fell in love with being a mommy in a way that I hadn’t before. Jack touched parts of my heart… and yes even parts of my grief over my son that Zoe just couldn’t have.   Dont’ get me wrong, I could not have been this mommy to him were it not for my family and my in-loves and plenty of people who opened their hearts and lives to this new addition to our family. But I say all this to just say that there is a bond that God knitted between this little guy and myself that is so special and cherished and God ordained in my life.

I’m very blessed and honored by all that.







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