Last sunday night Dan and I had a great family night of worship and time together.
We first got invited to a family worship night at a church nearby… so we took Zoe and Jack and headed out for the evening.
The Family night of worship was awesome! The kids were totally free to roam about the sanctuary and dance to the music and learn the motions to the songs. (zoe was studying one girl the whole time… she loved the songs with motions) Jack got really into the clapping songs. It was really neat to be in a place where we as parents were helping teach our children how to worship to some of the very same songs I learned how to worship to. The service kinda reminded me of a VBS big group time. Very kid orientated. But very useful for us parents in showing us how to experience teach worship to our children.
We talked about missions as well, Africa specifically. I’m finding that I can get really downhearted really fast when I think of the condition of some of the countries in Africa… yes, economically but more importantly spiritually. I’ve never been one who could watch certain movies like Schindler’s List or Hotel Rwanda because of the horrible things that are portrayed… and I think for me knowing that they really happened makes it to where I emotionally can’t handle watching those movies. But now I find myself wanting to know more about this country and land that my children live in right now, and I’m willingly opening my eyes to what has gone on there and what is still happening as a result of war and disease. But with that has come a struggle not to have a worrisome heart. My stomach is often queasy as I read or look at photos. Thoughts like, “you’re only a drop in the bucket of what needs to happen over there” come often. I can get frustrated pretty easily at everyone else I know who isn’t adopting. In fact I got frustrated at my own husband last night because our fears in this journey look a little different. All these struggles because my sinful heart is being exposed to the difficulties and sin effecting the DRC and the children over there.
I found myself thinking yesterday that to some extent ignorance about all this has been bliss and then I realized that love for these two children of ours is trumping the desire for emotional bliss. I want to know…. because I want to know everything I can in regards to my children’s well being. It’s like being a mom who can’t stand getting or even seeing someone get a shot… you may even be the type who pass out at the thought, Then something happens and you find out your child needs shots regularly. How in the world can you do what’s being asked of you? But somehow being a mom, a dad, a parent takes over and you find yourself doing things you never thought you could or would do….out of love for that little one. That’s a little of how we are feeling right now, especially as we read the blogs of other parents who are adopting from the Congo as they journal their experiences over there. We read with horror the conditions of the orphanages and guest houses, we try to comprehend the idea of staying there with no indication of when you’ll get to come back home with your children, and images of jungles…gorillas…lions..and beautiful landscapes… start turning into images of cockroaches, mosquitoes, and dirty drinking water. And it’s not like someone is paying us to go, no, it’s instead asking us to sacrifice more, we are; but we also fear looking as if we are trying to draw money from a dry overused well. Of course, that’s when we are looking at it as if it’s something we are doing.
We know God is asking us to do this and we know that even He has to be the one to accomplish what He is asking of us. But it doesn’t mean it’s not scary or worrisome. it is. But thankfully, we do know the One who has calmed and comforted us before and the One who has carried us through our biggest nightmare. We serve with joy the One who has taken from us more than we ever thought we’d be asked to give, but also has given to us abundantly what we don’t deserve. He’s the same then… as He is now. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, He’s not the God of dry overused wells. He will provide for His children. Sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to have all the answers for how we are going to realistically do this… but I don’t. And I think that’s what makes this a journey of Faith. He HAS to come through for this to happen.
Anyway, this was supposed to be a post just about sunday night… 😉 But you know me.
So after we left that fun service we headed downtown to Paciugo’s Gelato in Sundance Square here in Fort Worth. One of Dan’s good friends and co-workers at the school he teaches at actually owns this store. So we went and saw her and tried countless flavors of the best gelato!!! Thanks Kristi! The kids had so much fun and we did as well.
And there’s really not much I don’t like about this photo! 😉
Thank you Dan for leading our family with humility and sacrifice. We loved spending sunday night with you and having you all to ourselves!!! You’re an amazing husband and daddy! We love you!