We spent a few hours with Zoe and her birthmother tonight. "mama-ca" really opened up and just shared about her life and what her family background was like. While watching the World Music Awards together we discussed music, sports, culture and what life will be like for zoe growing up. How she has birth grandparents who lived to be 99 and lived in a time of slavery and oppression and she herself was born in a time where an african american will be the leader of the free world when she's just days old.
We talked about mama-ca's favorite foods, music, movies… this woman was fascinating me by the minute. She loves to talk. (so if zoe's anything like her mom she'll fit right in as a chappell!:o) We really talked openly about how selfless adoption is and how she choose us because she wants this child to grow up to impact the world around her. I told mama-ca that already her heart's desire is happening in ways she could never imagine.
We held Zoe and I think she has completely captivated the heart of her daddy. He was holding her up to his ear and listening to the littlest eeks and mmms from her sweet lips. so cute! I got to see her eyes tonight and wow, they are enchanting, so deep and beautiful.
I have cried both times I've been with her and it's definitely been tears of bittersweet joy! I can't imagine her being Asher nor will she replace him in my heart or life but this has given me (and no doubt will continue to) so many opportunities of grief over not having these moments with him. Even seeing Zoe move and the slightest twitch yesterday was a reminder to me how still Asher was that day with him. But having experienced that, I am more in awe of a newborn's awkward movements and uncontrolled smiles or blowing bubbles. They are amazing!! God is amazing!
Tomorrow we will go to the hospital and be there when they are released. I get to dress her and get her ready to leave. We still don't know if the information we need will be in by then and if not she'll just go to interim care for a night or two. But we'll keep you posted and I can't wait to take more photos of this sweet sweet baby!
Thanks for all your lovin' and sweet encouragement and for already loving this new addition to our family!