Because I know He holds the future
Zoe Elizabeth Chappell. a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. It means Abundant Life. And I think she's going to be a constant reminder of just how abundant our life is.
As I held her today I couldn't help but wonder what this little one would bring into my future. What joys have I yet to experience with her? What heartache and sorrow would she introduce me to? What moments would she create with me that will just make me laugh, or think or cry? What will she show me about the Lord? Will she love Him? Will she really be mine? Will she? I was calmed inside by knowing that although I hold her in my arms there is an Almighty God holding my future and hers. Every aspect of all this is just a gift and something that God is choosing to do according to His good pleasure. And in the same token even the things that are unexpected, hard to do, or not the way we think they should be or want them to go are according to His good pleasure.
We spent several hours with Zoe and her birthmother at the hospital. It was such a great visit and God blessed us with sweet fellowship with her mom. We had some great moments and just shared our hearts on this little one and what our desires are for her. This mom knows she wants more for this little girl than she can give her. I told her that we want to raise her to love Jesus and to be a compassionate person and stand for what is right in the world around her.
Here is her slideshow!
Now I can hear all your brains buzzing with questions…. I'll do my best to answer them. Tomorrow the birthmother will sign the adoption papers for terminating her parental rights to Zoe. She will then have 7 days legally where she would be able to change her mind… now, because of her contract with the adoption agency it is very difficult to change what has been set in motion but still possible. This is the case with most every domestic adoption. And I want to say very clearly that I would not ever judge this woman were she to change her mind. I know what it's like to carry a child that long and I think putting her daughter up for adoption is amazing and totally selfless but I know that I wouldn't blame her if she couldn't part with her in the end. We are praying that she is given strength to do this and that God sustains her with His peace and comfort as she heals and says goodbye to her baby.
We are lacking some finances and one sheet of paper, a legal document that still has to come in, for everything on our end to be complete. We basically were able to do a year's worth of paperwork in two weeks. Paperwork is unnerving and quite stressful but God is so faithful. If all goes as hoped we will bring our little girl into our home on Wednesday or Thursday…. of this week!
We are very excited and are trying to prepare our home for this unexpected blessing. Lots to do in such a short amount of time. But I think after going through what we've been through things are all viewed through a much different perspective. God will sustain. He is our Joy and maybe, just maybe, He will use this baby to show us His love and gift of abundant life this Christmas.