friends

I wanted to just dedicate a post to so many who have stood with us and rejoiced with us and hoped with us and wept with us and miss him with us. So many have been there even from the beginning when it was getting through fears about miscarrying or making a plea to my nurse friends for medical recommendations and doctor referrals. There were so many who wanted to celebrate this life with us even though they couldn't go out and buy out cute clothes but instead had to reach inside and pull out strength from scripture or words of hope or things that just celebrated this life inside me. There was countless cards and emails and messages and comments that flooded our home and walls and computer screens and still do. It's nice to know you're being prayed for and thought about and supported. There was so many in my church family and so many other church families who gave money to help get us through the unexpected expenses and medical costs and so many other things that needed money that we didn't have to worry about on top of all this. There were so many of my photography clients who even in their biggest day of getting married still cared and looked out for me and let me know they were praying for me, even guests at so many weddings this summer just stopped me even though some I didn't even know but they wanted to know that they knew and were praying for us! 

Then on the day that Asher came, my world stopped and everyone around me stopped their life too and just lived a very surreal day along side us. So many people were on their knees around the world for us that night. Though I don't remember much following the days after August 9th. (much of the hospital was a druggy fog for me) I do know that SO much was done to make it possible to honor his life at his memorial and his burial. Words can't say all my heart feels when thinking back on those who made that service what it was. Miracles happened to make all that possible. So many people worked endlessly on so many levels to make that service and burial happen. My family was fed and loved and taken such good care of by women who served and cooked for a lot of people. I can't thank all them enough. 
My  home was cleaned when I got home from the hospital and flowers were at my door and they still are blooming well. Again, I don't remember much from that first week and I hope that I didn't say too many weird things or hurt anyone in my grief. My mom and sister and even tony cooked and cared for me continually those first 2 weeks. I think different people were there during different difficult moments that ended up sharing a memory that I will treasure forever. I remember having to pump for the first time (I was going to donate my milk but ended up not being able to due to allergy medicine I take) but Brittany and Sarah were there and the three of us just cried our eyes out because that first time was horrible and just not the way it was supposed to be. I hated that moment but it's precious to me all at the same time. 
I'm so thankful for friends and family who will tell me on random days and times that they are missing asher. I'm thankful for people who will talk to me and care for me as if it happened yesterday. (some days it feels like it was yesterday) I'm thankful that because others read my heart that they are open to sharing theirs and they aren't afraid to be honest and transparent about how they are feeling as well. I need that from you.  I have so many readers who care and take the time to read my ramblings. I have friends now… dear friends (;o) who I have never even met and yet they are ever close to my heart and will be always. I love it when I go somewhere and a women takes the initiative and comes up to me and says "you don't know me but…." I love you unexpected friends.   
I love that I have friends who live here in the same town as I do that I've been so close with since I was in 
grade school and high school and so on…  It's nice to be able to walk through every life's circumstances the good and the bad with them. They are tried and true and worth more to me than anything. 

Old friends, new friends, (red friends, blue friends…ha-ha j/k) close friends, distant friends, email friends, blog friends, mail friends, giving friends, church friends, behind the scene friends, family friends, 

I'm thankful. I'm forever grateful. I'm honored and undeserving of all I've been blessed with through all of you. Here are some images of friends with asher that night. IMG_1068
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