* april *

she came by today, hungry as a hippo. She ate a bowl of pasta and 3 burritos. I"m learning to just make one thing at a time so that she'll take time to talk and open up to me. She did today. It was almost like she let down this wall for a short time and shared so much. She had an abortion when she was 15. She spent a year and a half in prison and has only been out not even a year. She hasn't talked to her sister in years and 12 years since she's had contact with her brother. She is being "taunted" on the street about her baby being taken away from her and she said that scared her because she really wants this baby. I told her that it's up to her weather or not he gets taken from her. I told her that even if he was to get taken at birth due to crack she would still have rights and that she would have a year to get her life together with help from the state and the foster parents.  She started crying and said that she has been in denial about this whole pregnancy and that she's scared and that she wants to change but doesn't see any way out. we were both crying and I said that there is help and that she is smart and that God made her the mommy of this baby and He would equip her to raise this child and to change but she had to put her trust in Him and not live as if He didn't exist. And then, almost like she woke from a daydream she closed up and got up said she thought she heard someone calling for her on the street, thanked me for lunch and left. 

Pray Hard my friends! It won't be too much longer before she has this baby. I talked to her today about labor and what that looks like and what she needs to know when going to the hospital. She said she wants a water birth, I laughed and told her that she probably won't be able to get a water birth.  

I told her that a friend is sending me some baby clothes for little "al", she smiled and said that she already had a little red hoodie for him. She's at least 8+ mo. pregnant and all she has is a red hoodie. I have some basics for her that I had for Asher but she wants me to keep it with me because she doesn't have any place to keep it. So, I don't know what will happen after this little one is born and if I'll ever see him or hold him or if she'll drop off the face of the earth or if he gets taken away and placed somewhere else. God only knows. But if We get an opportunity to love on this new mommy and this little boy we might be needing some baby items for him. I don't know what yet is  needed in this situation but I'll keep you posted and you might be able to help!!  

The two things that I keep praying is 
1. that labor is so VERY VERY painful and long for her so that she will be forced to go to the hospital because she can't take the pain anymore. (weird prayer I know but pain and the quest for relief will make people do a lot of things they don't want to)  
2. Her maternal instincts will be stirred and that God moves in her heart to want to live for something more than the next hit or the next car that stops and picks her up.  

Pray with me, Please! 
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