October 15th

Today is the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I haven't thought much of it because every day seems to be that for me. But the more I read other women's blog it has meant more to me because it means a lot to them and I went to Bring the Rain's blog I was blown away by the fact that she asked for women who lost babies to comment and over a thousand women have written and said "pray for me… I've gone through or are going through this storm. Here is my story…" 

 What a "Hall of Faith" experience it was to read others say that they too have walked in my shoes. Having recently been to Washington D.C. it made me wish there was a National Memorial somewhere that had the names of the babies that have been loved and lost inscribed upon it. I would imagine it would have lines of people walking along side it looking for their little ones name…brothers and sisters standing on their parents shoulder to reach up and rub the engraved name on some paper to put in their memory box or baby book at home. honorary tokens such as pacifiers and teddy-bears laying besides it because there is no one at home to suck or cuddle it. I would imagine a lot like the memorials in D.C there would be a respectful silence except for the sound of young carefree children who can't yet grasp the reality of the meanings of all these names, even that adding to the loss that the memorial stands for.  

Men hugging their wives because its' the only outward expression they feel comfortable expressing and wanting to be strong for her, Mothers weeping but at the same time being so proud to call that child their own, one twin in her teens wondering what her other half would have been like…"maybe she would understand me right now", a daughter understanding a little bit more why her mom wasn't really herself for those months following her brothers death….. countless experiences.  
And maybe that's why we don't have a memorial because there are countless losses out there… unlike a war where the death tally can be counted we live in a nation that babies die countlessly, either with parents who brokenheartedly have to say goodbye to soon, or in the name of medical ethics, or those who die in other countries because of the lack nutrition and disease or that the country just says "1 is enough", or those who die at the hand of an abortionist and the heart of a mother who is scared and doesn't want this unplanned inconvenience. We cant' keep count. But we can keep praying and serving to bring awareness to these losses and love those who have experienced them regardless of how or at what point they lost their child. Most importantly keep hoping and looking for a day that these things will not exist and justice will be served and countries will not starve, peace will take the place of war, and Death will be defeated and will be no more. 


** I do want to honor my Dad through these photos as well. He served in Vietnam and I'm so proud that he was counted as one who fought for my freedom and I am thankful that God spared his name from being written on this wall. I"ll never forget your emotions and thoughtfulness towards your fallen comrades as we visited this memorial a few years back. Love you Dad!  
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