Here are some links to some posts/articles on what is helpful to say and do when you have a friend who is in the grieving process. I fully desire to write more on the issue later when I know that I am able to more fully process these issues and when it's not so up close and personal. But these links that I visited I found myself saying, "exactly!" so I think they say it a lot better then I could right now, though I did comment a little on each of them.
scatterbrained….this is so true! Yesterday I spent ALL day thinking it was wednesday even getting to the school to pick up Dan at the wrong time. There are so many times in almost every conversation thatI can't think of a specific word that I'm thinking of or use the wrong one….. it's so frustrating. But I know I just have to be patient with myself. I like what she says… "Just like tiredness consumes the body, grief overpowers the mind, making it what I like to call “scrambled eggs.”
Asking specific questions Due to the above situation at times it's hard to come up with deep answers to general questions. I like to talk and most times if you're around me long enough I"ll talk about what my heart is feeling and going through lately. I love hearing about YOU! I love hearing stories how Asher has impacted others I may not know about. I love hearing what God is doing in your own life. We don't always have to talk about me, sometimes I find myself start to shut down emotionally when i feel like the focus is on me because it's very painful and deep to remember at times and even the focus at times feels like it's spotlighting that I'm the one that's dealing with a great loss.
Weep with those who weep I love this post and feel it really brings a man's perspective on it. So Dan's friends please read this and know that he still needs to talk and process. He's the deep thinker… even before Asher's birth I felt like God was just taking him much deeper in his walk and grounding his faith like never before. I saw it and have been so blessed by having a husband that often has been my rock and able to wash me with the Word. At times though I think Dan is left to his deep thoughts with only me as his outlet. And sometimes, I think he desires the Iron sharpening aspect that other men bring to his thought processes. So, know that yes, Dan wants/needs to talk about Asher and all that has happened in our lives, but also talking through, analyzing and even challenging all the many varied topics that God's been laying on his heart is helpful as well. We've found that often God has been using theology issues and cultural topics that seemingly have nothing to do with the loss of a child, to greatly encourage us while we grieve.
Bearing one anothers burdens I love the picture she paints of sharing other's pain during a time like this.