We were at UNC for over four hours today and my belly has had it’s fill of being rubbed and that gooky ultrasound gel. :o)
I wish I had a bunch of new and updated information on the baby to tell you but really at each appointment they would scan and then say “it could be that the baby has a defect or it could be just the baby’s position or that the baby is fine and we’re not getting an acurate picture of him/her.” Like, the baby is still measuring small but we were told it could just be that it’s a small baby or it could be that it’s growth is being hindered… so they usually present worst case and best case and how they really can’t say one way or the other for sure.
Dan and I both agree that no news is better than for certain discouraging news.
We met with the Neonatologist today and we spent the first 20 minutes on why we it might be “best” to choose not to have our baby be put on a ventilator if it has a Trisomy. For some reason she kept describing how “uncomfortable” it is for a baby to have that tube put in them. But we kept saying that as parents we sometimes have to do things that might be uncomfortable for our child but would always be done for their best interest. We really had to stress to her (and hopefully she understood) that we will fight against all odds for this child to live however we understand that we can’t fight against God who will ultimately decide if this baby lives or dies.
I think I was just caught off guard by how overboard she went in just addressing intubation when I feel like that is one of the smaller bridges we’ll have to walk over in our child’s treatment.
But God really gave us the words to say and even gave Dan the chance to share how it’s hard to hear them say that putting a life giving tube into a child might be uncomfortable but yet they wouldn’t hesitate to counsel a woman to tear her baby apart in the womb before 20 weeks if she decided that due to the Trisomy she wanted to terminate her pregnancy… he asked her, “how is that not uncomfortable for the baby”? She admitted the inconsistency in the counsel and I think was a little more understanding of where we were coming from after that.
We have some pretty sweet ultrasound images that I will post tomorrow. It’s always great to see this child move inside me!
Thanks for praying!